A Beautiful Mess
Lol. Haven't posted since forever. But then again, i didnt really have a cause to until now. And since its off my msn nick, i dont suppose people will actually bother reading it =) Its only something i like to do when i really have nothing else left to do.
Another episode, or should i say a previous episode has been closed, and im quite quite quite sure this time that it is for good. No hard feelings yeah. Your loss. You know, this is so God behind the scenes. Trails and tribulations alright, pushed me wayyy beyond my limits, limits i never thought to cross, limits i never knew existed. People i can always count on, or at least person ( the absolute bare minimum). Brokeness, i didnt really know the meaning of the word until now. Spiritually, emotionally. To build, you first need to tear down all the messed up parts of my life. Slowly, I'm getting on track. The anger is gone, the pride is somewhat gone, but I think its kinda coming back =/ What doesn't kill you really does make you stronger. But i must say, even though i kinda survived this trail, for a while i never knew whether i would make it. He really doesn't test you more than you can handle, but He's worse than Sgt Charles, way tougher, but with much love. Much much love. "If I can die for you on the cross, and come back to life, what makes you think I cant set all my much more minor plans into motion?" Things i sense Him saying to me. I'm not very good at these sorta things, but its just something i somehow sense.
Scarily, I'm looking forward to going back in. These short weekends are really just some torture. You keep on trying to fill them up because you believe that it will be wasted otherwise. Many go clubbing, cause its the fastest way to fun. But its so superficial man, and thankfully my head cleared up. In camp, there will always be people 24/7. Single child syndrome, its the lonliness that kills you at home. But I'm really glad i spent the easter weekend mostly by myself, just enjoying the break. Its how you grow stronger.
Oh crap/yay. Book in day.
Nights
Another episode, or should i say a previous episode has been closed, and im quite quite quite sure this time that it is for good. No hard feelings yeah. Your loss. You know, this is so God behind the scenes. Trails and tribulations alright, pushed me wayyy beyond my limits, limits i never thought to cross, limits i never knew existed. People i can always count on, or at least person ( the absolute bare minimum). Brokeness, i didnt really know the meaning of the word until now. Spiritually, emotionally. To build, you first need to tear down all the messed up parts of my life. Slowly, I'm getting on track. The anger is gone, the pride is somewhat gone, but I think its kinda coming back =/ What doesn't kill you really does make you stronger. But i must say, even though i kinda survived this trail, for a while i never knew whether i would make it. He really doesn't test you more than you can handle, but He's worse than Sgt Charles, way tougher, but with much love. Much much love. "If I can die for you on the cross, and come back to life, what makes you think I cant set all my much more minor plans into motion?" Things i sense Him saying to me. I'm not very good at these sorta things, but its just something i somehow sense.
Scarily, I'm looking forward to going back in. These short weekends are really just some torture. You keep on trying to fill them up because you believe that it will be wasted otherwise. Many go clubbing, cause its the fastest way to fun. But its so superficial man, and thankfully my head cleared up. In camp, there will always be people 24/7. Single child syndrome, its the lonliness that kills you at home. But I'm really glad i spent the easter weekend mostly by myself, just enjoying the break. Its how you grow stronger.
Oh crap/yay. Book in day.
Nights
posted by Ryan at 5:32 AM
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